"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
His nipple licking is glorious
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