it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
