Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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