They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
