She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
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There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
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I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
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