Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
