I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
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All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
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It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize