If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
