They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
