worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
