I hope mine doesn't look like that
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
