i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize