I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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