Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
