I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat