Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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