he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
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If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
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He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.