Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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