its not stalking. its research.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
FUCK WHALES
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
