Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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