I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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