he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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