this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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