Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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