Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
