dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it was like eating out sand paper
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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