well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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