She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
