I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
