we have pet lesbian snakes
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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