I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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