Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
