Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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