Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
