is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
