I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
