You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
