hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
