Tell her she can't have a vagina
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
