bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
