no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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