i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
