I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
