Ambien. No doubt about it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
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I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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