Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
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Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
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Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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