just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
