At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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