I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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