Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize