He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize