Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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