he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
