is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
