it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
