Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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