East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
