he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
