wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
