not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
