have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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