Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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