This girl is more easily done than said...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
