Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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