i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize